Phone calls from dear friends or Carolina on my mind

North Carolina 2002

Years ago I took my kids to North Carolina and as we drove along the coast James Taylor played softly in the background. In fact, he is one of the favorites to bring along on any road trip. His music brings up this homey feeling of nostalgia of the past, of old friends and relationships and all the meaning that comes from knowing these precious people. I am not sure why James Taylor does that for me, except for when I was getting ready to move in with my biological father after finding him when I was sixteen; the lady I was living with at the time, who was one of my mother figures in my life loved James Talyor and Simon and Garfunkel.  She played Bridge over Trouble Water for me as my going away song to remind me that she would always be there for me, especially if things became difficult. She stayed true to her promise and took me back in just a few short months later. I guess that style of music and the genre has influenced me throughout my life, especially the sentiment, her actions will always be remembered through the  message of the music that took root in me at such a young age.

 Tonight I thought of James Taylor's song as a dear friend I don't get to talk to very often called, and hearing her sweet voice brought back the same nostalgia. Close relationships can create such lovely songs of the soul; they may not be written for musical instruments, but they play upon the heart strings and cords that are only created as friends who have walk through difficult times as well as the joyful times in life.

As we caught up with each other's life I was transported back to her house drinking tea sitting on her couch like so many times before. Talking about our kids, husbands, writing, and trying to encourage each other to continue along the path were given to traverse. Looking back at those sweet times of communion, I had no idea how knitted our hearts had become, but as we each faced difficult times we were able to come in help, encourage, cry with,  pray with, and laugh with. Tonight I realized how much I missed those times, and yet, I realized I couldn't go back. I could enjoy the present moment, and how it was mingled with the sweet remembrances of times past, but we are on different paths now, however a phone call can connect us as if we haven't been separated at all. Isn't that like nostalgia? Remembering, connecting, internalizing the past, present, and future all at the same time. 

Just as I finished one conversation, another dear friend called to talk with me about deep issues that are taking place in so many people we know. With heavy hearts we considered the victims, all the families influenced by certain people's actions and what damage has been done. Once again as moms, we spoke of the hearts' of those younger than us and how we wanted healing and restitution and resolution and where did justice come in and where did grace come into the picture.  My friend used to do my hair and we would talk and talk as she tried to work miracles with my hair. :) Our conversations tended to always go to the deep places with ease. Those places of the heart, the places of hurt, and the sacred places. As I listened to joy in my friend's voice, she said, "I have found my voice!" Nothing is sweeter to my ears than to hear one of my friend's that has found her voice. It is in finding our voice we also find the empowerment to create the melodies of the soul, where blues are birthed, and where freedom rings through jazz.

This is what I heard as each friend shared her heart, each woman had such a strong voice, each  was coming into her own, though on different paths with different tasks at hand, yet, that feminine voice, that maternal tenderness brought such harmony, such sweetness. These conversations caused yearning in me to return to Colorado, where my friends and family are, but I must stay my course, finish what I have started here. I know I this is where I belong for now. However, like James Taylor sings, "In my mind I'm going to Carolina. Can't you see the sunshine, can't you just feel the moonshine? Ain't it just like a friend of mine to hit me from behind? Yes, I'm going to Carolina in my mind." 
For me, it is my heart, where all those memories are tucked away; tonight I had the privilege to pull them out and see them with joy instead of sadness.