"The artist is a servant who is willing to be a birth-giver."
What a statement, for those whom have given birth know how intense the process is, and to compare that to being creative. This made me think of the whole process, from conception of giving birth and what it means to be a birth-giver. What starts out as a stimulating moment can lead to shock for some when they realize they are carrying new life, or for some they come to the realization of how they feel in the morning. New cravings and emotional moments correlate with a changing body that shows a new life residing within. All of the adjustments that new life requires is life changing in itself; the planning, preparing, and purchasing takes so much time and energy.Comparing all this to being creative- that moment of inspiration and jubilee, when a new project, book, painting, or sculpture comes to mind all the excitement is there. But the excitement fades as the hard work begins and more times than not, it takes many drafts, tries, and starts before that new creation comes alive. As L'Engle calls us co-creators in each project we take on, there can be much consternation in the process that causes nausea and tears, just as if we were carrying life within us. It takes much planning, time management, preparation, and resources to finish what was started. Some of my photo collages took over a year before I felt they were finished. However, some projects take much longer than any natural birth, they sit dormant or have a much slower time line where life influences the artist and thus, the art.
I see this process in me as I continue my education. Each obstacle that I have had to overcome to continue has shaped me in a different way. So many times I was either tempted or offered an out, but so far I have stayed the course, not at the pace I would have preferred, nevertheless I have made progress each class, and each semester. Most people see the "art" or the end project, but what they don't see is all the hard work that it took to create that piece, whether is physical labor, emotional labor, psychological labor, or manual labor, it is the entire process from the beginning of conception to the creation that takes a servant's heart, one who is willing to do whatever it takes to create, even at the end when one feels like they don't have the strength to push one more time. And then, that little life comes forth and all the pain and anguish is forgotten. I know that is how I will feel when I walk across the stage to receive my diploma. All of the training, moving, studying, writing, reading, and crying will be worth it. This education is not only giving me ample opportunities for employment opportunities, but I believe it is giving me the confidence and tools to become a better writer and photographer, thus a better artist. I have longed to show the beauty that is all around from nature, to the essence of people as I take their portraits. My hope is that they will see a reflection of glory that will encourage them. In many ways my education is leading me to be able to do the same thing, but with women and children that have come out of domestic violence, sexual abuse, and spiritual abuse. I believe they need to see that they have it within themselves, that beautiful glory, they may need a bit of help to see it.
As I near my "third trimester", if you will, I know things can get very uncomfortable, and yet, there is great expectation. When I enter my senior year in the fall, I hope to garner more knowledge and technique, that will help me serve, write, and take photos. But I also hope I receive more insight and understanding that will help me to serve, write, and take photos that will encourage, inspire, and illustrate that there is glory all around if we open our eyes, and that there is this mysterious glory found within that desires to create and partake of life.How about you, do you see yourself giving birth or in the process? What projects are you working on and at what stage?
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